Joy of Parenting?

For eight weeks I've been a "Parent" to a sixteen year old chinese exchange student. My sister and I thought it would be a good idea to host a young, ambitious, teenager who would excel in highschool and enroll in Yale or Harvard after graduation. We had expectations. What looks good on paper never is the same as real life. We quickly learned all a teenage boy wants is food and fast internet.

Writing Advice from C.S. Lewis

Writing advice from C. S. Lewis to a young woman he mentored....

C.S. Lewis (29 November 1898 – 22 November 1963) was a novelist, poet, academic and essayist, and arguably one of the most influential writers of his day. He was a Fellow and Tutor in English Literature at Oxford University until 1954, when he was unanimously elected to the Chair of Medieval and Renaissance Literature at Cambridge University, a position he held until his retirement. To most readers though, he is best known as the creator of The Chronicles of Narnia which he wrote between 1949 and 1954. This seven-part fantasy series endeared him to millions of readers around the world, and resulted in him receiving thousands of letters, particularly from young fans.

It is said that nearly every morning Lewis spent at least an hour reading the mail he received and crafting thoughtful and detailed replies. A selection of these replies are gathered together in the beautiful collection C.S. Lewis’ Letters to Children, edited by Lyle W. Dorset and Marjorie Lamp Mead and first published in 1985.

In one of these replies Lewis shared some very practical writing advice with an aspiring young American writer named Joan Lancaster.

The Kilns,
Headington Quarry,
Oxford

[26 June 1956]

Dear Joan–

Thanks for your letter of the 3rd. You describe your Wonderful Night v.[ery] well. That is, you describe the place & the people and the night and the feeling of it all, very well — but not the thing itself — the setting but not the jewel. And no wonder! Wordsworth often does just the same. His Prelude (you’re bound to read it about 10 years hence. Don’t try it now, or you’ll only spoil it for later reading) is full of moments in which everything except the thing itself is described. If you become a writer you’ll be trying to describe the thing all your life: and lucky if, out of dozens of books, one or two sentences, just for a moment, come near to getting it across.

About amn’t I, aren’t I and am I not, of course there are no right or wrong answers about language in the sense in which there are right and wrong answers in Arithmetic. “Good English” is whatever educated people talk; so that what is good in one place or time would not be so in another. Amn’t was good 50 years ago in the North of Ireland where I was brought up, but bad in Southern England. Aren’t I w[oul]d have been hideously bad in Ireland but very good in England. And of course I just don’t know which (if either) is good in modern Florida. Don’t take any notice of teachers and textbooks in such matters. Nor of logic. It is good to say “more than one passenger was hurt,” although more than one equals at least two and therefore logically the verb ought to be plural were not singular was! What really matters is:–

1. Always try to use the language so as to make quite clear what you mean and make sure your sentence couldn’t mean anything else.

2. Always prefer the plain direct word to the long, vague one. Don’t implement promises, but keep them.

3. Never use abstract nouns when concrete ones will do. If you mean “More people died” don’t say “Mortality rose.”

4. In writing. Don’t use adjectives which merely tell us how you want us to feel about the thing you are describing. I mean, instead of telling us a thing was “terrible,” describe it so that we’ll be terrified. Don’t say it was “delightful”; make us say “delightful” when we’ve read the description. You see, all those words (horrifying, wonderful, hideous, exquisite) are only like saying to your readers “Please will you do my job for me.”

5. Don’t use words too big for the subject. Don’t say “infinitely” when you mean “very”; otherwise you’ll have no word left when you want to talk about something really infinite.

Thanks for the photos. You and Aslan both look v.[ery] well. I hope you’ll like your new home.

With love,
yours
C.S. Lewis

http://aerogrammestudio.com/2013/10/01/writing-tips-from-c-s-lewis/

You've Never Read a First Draft

Brendan Mathews, a writing and literature instructor at Bard College at Simon’s Rock and his piece for Ploughshares....


http://blog.pshares.org/index.php/writing-lessons-brendan-mathews/

Tales from the Barn

Weston Magazine Group has published my essay, Tales from the Barn, in their Train of Thought column on page 24.  It's out now in Tribeca Magazine, Hampton's Magazine, Alpine Magazine and Weston Magazine.

http://issuu.com/westonmagazinegroup/docs/tribeca_issue50

Chicken Soup for the Soul....Just Us Girls

Out in November, Chicken Soup for the Soul, Just Us Girls with my story, My Ohio Friends.  I sent this piece in almost two years ago.  It never hurts to put your writing out and then move on.  Sometimes you get a wonderful surprise.

Whatever the other shore is....Get There!

It's time...no it's past time...to bring this blog up to date.  It's shame on me for letting it slip since having this blog was my idea.  I kneel in repentance but am on my feet again to go forward with making this blog a place where our Writer's Group can express themselves though writing.

Let's make this a spot to explore our stories....use it as a way to find different means of creative expression...whether it's turning a piece of memoir into fiction...using the blog to try out a story...any story..maybe.only in dialogue....or perhaps in verse...or any way in which our writing might be different than what we've been used to.  Let's get creative.

I've been inspired by so much of what I've read this summer....essays, written in unusual and engaging ways.... and fiction which has taken me to places I've never considered going....and I've been inspired these past few days by the endurance swimmer, Diana Nyad who at 64 swam 110 miles from Havana to Key West.  Her fifth attempt...she didn't give up and I'll use her quote....

"Whatever the other shore is....Get There!"

Spring's Kind Words

The writing class I taught, which began in the dark of the winter winds, has concluded in the twilight of the much welcomed spring. Three women, all with their own agendas, their own goals, came together and thoughtfully, and with extreme humor, lifted each other to a place, which I believe, never occurred to them they would go. At least not in the beginning.

The individuality which expresses itself in writing is a constant amazement to me. Thank goodness it always surprises me how the right words, the collective thought, conveys a new way of looking at a situation or an idea, which may appear, at first, mundane or irrelevant. For me, this provides hope. It’s a reminder each new day may start off with a pearly haze over the sun, but in the same way the jet stream alters the atmosphere, by evening, events not possibly imaged, have transformed lives and directions. This happens every day...all over the world. 

Good writing takes you on the same trip. Reading the first words, ready to be sent off to one place and then, quite startlingly, when reaching the end of a piece, you discover you’ve arrived on a beach you never knew existed. Someone’s thoughtful introspect of words well chosen has the same effect. Said with kindness, it only takes a minute, a few seconds, to impart a positive change. Whether written or spoken.  I saw it take place on the last night of our class and it made me want to come back for more. 

Pho and Bun…Try it, Just for Fun

On Saturday the line will be out the door, and while Vietnamese food is relatively uncommon when dining out, this diminutive restaurant boasts fresh, humble ingredients. What happens when those ingredients are united, is what makes this place truly notable.

Spring rolls, hot and sour soup, and fried rice diminutively pepper the menu. Are they serving Chinese food or Vietnamese you may ask?

Vietnamese food certainly has influences from other countries such as China and Thailand, but it’s the fine subtleties to each of those dishes; fresh mint, lemon grass, Vietnamese sausage which makes these more common foods, unique. Names such as pho and bun dominate the menu…but you’ll just have to go there to find out what they are, as any description here would be an injustice.

I hesitate to give the name and location as I would prefer the lines stay short, but it would be unfair for me to keep this sparkling gem to myself.

Pho Vietnam Restaurant

56 Padanaram Road

Danbury, Ct

Open 7 days a week

Sunday to Thursday 11-9

Friday and Saturday 11-10.

Fractions

Today I had to help a 2nd grader with fractions. Retrieving buried information from my early elementary years proved comical. The little girl, Annie, who waited patiently as I drew a picture of a circle to illustrate a pie, Then the hard part came in explaining how all little parts of the pie make up a whole.
    After I finished with homework help at the library, I thought of my mother. Today is the anniversary of her death. I couldn't help feeling her presence as I struggled to make sure Annie knew the correct answer.  Or a celestial chuckle when I had to get her attention. Math has always been a struggle for me. My lack of homework skills never made it easier. The nights with my mother trying to explain mathematical concepts appeared while I googled an example for my young student.
       Now I'm sitting with a glass of red wine wondering if I should take a class to brush up on my math skils.
My mother's happy to see me writing and at least wanting to get the right answers in life.

FEVER

This year will be different. Yes, this year I will have a plan of what to plant and only buy things I need for my garden. There may be lots of great plants at the nursery, but I don’t have to have all of them.

Then spring arrives. Like the intrepid daffodils emerging from their frozen slumber, “Open for the Season” signs reappear. Despite every intention of driving by, my steering wheel reverts to auto-pilot and I find myself in a garden center parking lot.

Sound familiar? The rationalizations follow. “I might as well take a look. No harm in finding out what’s new this year.”

Like a yo-yo dieter, waging an all out mental war, I stand before the bounty of tempting choices. My resolve falters. My mouth fights a tidal wave of saliva. I’m forced to swallow to prevent a trickle of drool from escaping towards my chin. My knees weaken, my stomach does somersaults, and I forget to breathe. I’m a nervous teenager again, about to receive my first kiss.

The arrays of bold colors; the rippling leaves; those nodding, winking faces—it’s all too much. Plants flaunt themselves shamelessly before me, vying for attention the way hawkers do in booths at the state fair. My pulse racing now, I pick up a tray of annuals. Fighting the urge to fling my arms open wide and caper with abandon through the aisles like a mischievous puppy, I inhale slowly.

“Calm down, for heaven’s sake. Remember, this year is supposed to be different. Taking measured steps, I wend my way through this horticultural heaven, playing my part in the plant world’s equivalent of a pas-de-deux.

In ten minutes flat my cart is laden with a mix of tried-and-true favorites and this year’s darling—Pretty Much Picasso petunias. Heading for the check-out, a litany of excuses starts. And being an unrepentant gardener, there are ample reasons for my excess. “It’s just a few plants. Some people spend more at Starbuck’s each day. Everyone has at least one vice. How harmful are a few plants?” This is quickly followed by, “I need something for the bare spots where my Alchemilla mollis disappeared.” My new excuse this year is, “oh, we have to support our local growers—you know, the locavore movement. Forget the fact the movement is supposed to be about eating locally-grown plants; it’s not about growing locally-purchased plants, or is it?

In my best actor’s voice, I practice my lines all the way home. My husband will be my audience and he’ll prompt me with the classic, “Where are you going to put all those things? Does this mean I have to dig another garden this spring?”

“Oh no,” I assure him, “I’m going to tuck these in among the plants we already have. Everything will blend together and crowd out the weeds. We’ll be able to enjoy the display and won’t have to do any work.” I plaster a big smile on my face, as if I’m thinking of his best interests.

He buys this argument, no doubt relieved backbreaking digging of water-logged soil isn’t in his immediate future.

I’m relieved too. My plant fever has abated, for now. I’ll be taking a longer way to work though. There are only so many rounds of fever I can withstand and driving by the garden center daily is no antidote for my condition.

Coming Soon: A Vacation in Ireland

On July 22, 2011 my family and I will embark on a new journey. A result of submitting a travel essay to FamilyVacationCritic.com, I won a trip to the Adare Manor in Ireland. (Pictured on the left). Anyone interested can read my essay in this link; FamilyVacationCritic.com.
Our itinerary is packed. The Blarney Stone, Ring of Kerry, Cliffs of Moher, and an Irish Medieval Banquet will fill the days when we are not strolling the emerald grounds of this expansive estate. The cool weather and icy waters will not allow me to bask in the sun and wiggle my toes in the sand as my prior adventures, but will instead allow me to explore the culture and history of a land I have never been.

Here's the link to our castle.....

https://www.adaremanor.com

Chicken Soup Story for the Soul...Candlewood Member, Beth Molinaro

New Milford resident Beth Molinaro is a featured contributor in the recently released Chicken Soup for the Soul, Shaping the New You.

A book signing will take place Saturday, Jan. 22, from noon to 2 p.m. at Bank Street Book Nook on Bank Street in New Milford.

Ms. Molinaro is a freelance writer, and her humorous story “Pool Walking” was selected from the many submissions to the popular series, which features stories told from a first-person perspective and are meant to be inspiring as well as entertaining.

An employee of Ability Beyond Disability, Ms. Molinaro has been writing for many years. Her focus, she said in a news release, has been on looking at the world with her own brand of humor, light hearted and quick witted.

Before moving to New Milford in 2001, Beth, her two children, Zach and Annie, and her husband, Anthony, lived in Pittsburgh, Pa.

“Chicken Soup for the Soul, Shaping the New You” will be available in area bookstores on Amazon.com.

Published in the Danbury News Times, January 2011

Red Umbrellas at Faneuil Hall Boston

Boston summer’s don’t always hold the heat and humidity of other cities. The bay offers a breeze, while shadows are lowered to the streets within the irregular mixture of buildings. With Faneuil Hall only blocks from the waterfront, susceptible to these cooling winds, it draws an outdoor crowd looking for a casual stop during the day. The choice of restaurants only equals the variety of shops. And on a sweet summer’s day, sitting outside with friends or family, is like a picnic for the urban dweller.

Woven into the mix of vendors, performers and strollers, many of the restaurants and cafes provide outdoor dining as varied as the visitors. Families, children scribbling with crayons on paper, babies lulling in a pram or young teenage girls fiddling with their hair, don’t feel the restraints of the formal atmosphere indoors. Young couples, leaning in, speaking with that hint of a tease, stand out more than they’d like to think. Good friends linger over a beer and the sky is blue.

When the heat does arrive, up go the outdoor red umbrellas of Faneuil Hall. A birds-eye view must look like a sea of red lollipops have snapped to attention. Could the choice of color have anything to do with the intense feelings this old historic site stirs up?

Autumn can come quickly to New England, but to give up summer....oh, it’s only let go with a sigh and then a resolve to bear out the winter. And the red umbrellas retreat again. But with a bowl of Anthem’s award winning chowder to stir and sip, sitting outdoors at Faneuil Hall will always be one of the joys of Boston.

As the Artist in Residence at Faneuil Hall, Randi Jane Davis has been painting as long as she can remember. Throughout various professional endeavors, her commitment to painting has remained a constant. As a plein air painter, Davis examines objects and their surrounding, transferring her impressions to the canvas in fluid, gestural strokes.

To compliment Davis's exhibition at Faneuil Hall will be a book of her paintings, with accompanying essays, enhancing not only the painting, but the readers experience as they visit this historical landmark. Priscilla Whitley will author.

Some excerpts follow.....

www.randijanedavis.com

HAYMARKET II AT FANEUIL HALL

Less than a block away from Quincy Market, on the north side of Faneuil Hall Marketplace, is Haymarket Square, a constant presence since the early 1830s, almost a hundred years after the opening of Faneuil Hall. Here an open-air fruit and vegetable market is held each Friday and Saturday, rain or shine, all year long. This produce market is a compliment to the more upscale offerings of the various food shops, restaurants and boutiques adjoining the marketplace. For visitors it offers rich photo opportunities.

Located on the short, narrow Blackstone Street most of the costermongers, or vendors, are the old timers from Boston’s North End Italian community. Many have worked the market for decades, while some of the families have done it for generations. The culture of the merchants, with their bantering street talk, adds to the appeal of this robust market making it not only authentic but vibrantly colorful.

Haggling over price is possible, though buying from the market is still less expensive than most places. Dropping by late in the date, prices fall as the costermongers would rather sell than pack up and cart home. Haymarket is a place linked to the past but now also infused with relative newcomers from Asia, North Africa and the Caribbean expanding the rich variety of produce. Here one can find peppers, mangoes, citrus fruits, an assortment of berries. tomatoes and squash, plus foods and exotic spices, all within one marketplace.

Haymarket is an institution for the foodies of Boston, where quality and price are mixed in with the history and culture of Faneuil Hall.


“Friends, Brethren, Countrymen! That worst of plagues, the detested TEA, has arrived in this harbour. The hour of destruction... stares you in the face.”
George R.T. Hewes, A Survivor of the LIttle Band of Patriots Who Drowned the Tea in Boston Harbor in 1773...

Magical Balloons at Faneuil Hall, Boston

It’s the special ones who find the joy in giving to others. It’s not about adulation or fame, that’s left for the ambitious. The smile is the reward. The laugh. The first look of astonishment turning into glee. And in the case of Rami Salami, it’s all accomplished by the twisting and turning of a balloon which, as if by magic, he transforms into a gift for a delighted child.

Rami Salami’s been entertaining in Boston, particularly at Faneuil Hall since 1993. After serving as a volunteer in the Israeli army in 1988, he began performing in hospitals there, as well as army bases, before returning to his home ground of Boston to undergo an experimental heart procedure. Along with it’s success came his desire to make the world a happier place.
Rami Salami, who calls himself, the “real deal” has entertained children all over the world, stretching from the Nagasaki Holland Village in Japan, the Carnival in Caiz in Spain and to Israel where he hosted a children’s party held by then President Ezer Weizman at his residence in Jerusalem. The Israel Museum in Jerusalem became the home of SalamiLand during the Purim Holiday.

In the tradition of great entertainers his mission is to delight the youngest visitors in the most simple way. He needs nothing more than a a balloon and a rhyme to coax a giggle. Rami’s joy is his love of giving. And his specialty is the smile he puts on each little face.

"Ideals are like stars; you will not succeed in touching them with your hands. But like the seafaring man on the desert of waters, you choose them as your guides, and following them you will reach your destiny." ~Carl Schurz, address, Faneuil Hall, Boston, 1859


Snorkling in Roatan, Honduras

Roatan, an island off of Honduras is the location of my latest "travel adventure." It is a snorkelers paradise, and it's how paradise might be imagined for many. At the end of the pier, only a short snorkel away, we found yellow and purple coral along with varieties of fish found in pet store aquariums. We had to follow a rope sunken in the reef in order to stay in the "safe zones." Some areas became very narrow and it was easy to get cut on the sharp coral. In other places the floor descended 50-60 feet while the water remained crystal clear. A black ominous drop was seen at the edge of the reef. No one went over to the “dark side”. I kept thinking something huge was going to pop up from the depths of the abyss. I still however, want to go back. The allure of the white sand beach, visions of palm trees billowing in the gentle breeze and the excitement of what "lurks" below the Caribbean will lure me back again, I know for sure, to explore more of this fabulous island!

The Skirt!

Emma finally put it on! She went into her closet and chose it on her own. The top's not the best match, but she insisted. :)

The History of Love Written by Nicole Krauss

I hesitated with this book. The title didn’t appeal to me. The History of Love
Certainly not my kind of book. A book of love, a book about love, the reading of others bound within the glories of love? No, I’ve been in love and love, that kind of love, the romantic love, swept away love, the one which makes you sigh leaving all cares of the real world behind, that kind of love doesn’t seem to fit within my life anymore. So I don’t care to read about others and their joys.

But a friend encouraged me to read this and since I trust her, I decided to have an open mind. And within the first few pages the story of Leo, the immigrant Russian Jew, now living in Brooklyn, hoping to survive his life, oh, just a little bit longer, took me to a place I thought I never visited, but found out as I went along, this love certainly was a love I knew very well. It’s the love of the meaningful few who make your life unique. I was reminded there are surprises still around every corner.

Nicole Krauss is the author and from her tiny photo on the back, she looks to be a somewhat young woman. Almost immediately I wondered, and still do, how she found this voice of Leo. How did she put down into words his dialect, his inflections, for I can hear Leo speak as if I’d sat next to him, day after day, on the Number 4 line into Manhattan. Krauss’s imagination must be a joy for her and those who know her, for she’s immersed herself within the life of Leo and hidden behind her lovely looking face, I think there hides an old Russian Jew.

The book takes off in a somewhat curving line, but then makes a sharp right angle and fourteen year old Alma Singer suddenly enters. She too is from Brooklyn; bright, sassy, and seeking some sort of hope for her mother’s loneliness. It’s her love for her mother and her quirky brother...who thinks he can fly...which leads her to seek out the author of a book her mother is translating...a book on the history of love...and its elderly Russian author. And so another side of Krauss is revealed, for she too occupies Alma.

This novel is heartbreaking as well as delightful. It’s devastating within the character’s losses, yet, funny and charming. It’s poignant and even suspenseful. Like all the elements of life itself. A life of love. And not just a passing love, but the deep love one has for those closest to them. A love born out of hope, for hope, after all, is all anyone really has.

The writing is gorgeous, the story touching and Krauss handles it all gracefully.

The History of Love, by Nicole Krauss